I keep seeing so many overlaps in parenting and domming…staying in control of my emotions, optimally handling power dynamics and how it all comes down to care and connection.
But it is really uncanny hearing my not so little one suggest I could train someone like how we train our dogs, in reference to a male friend who I had remarked was being insensitive. A child after my own heart!
The truth is that even outside of D/s scene play, we train people how to act with us, especially when we have clear boundaries for ourselves. Hopefully, we are also receptive to other's cues about what works for them and doesn’t or we find ourselves in disconnection. Oh the human experiment, great fun and such a challenge.
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My pre-teen may not have the training but she is fully embodied in her power, her rightness. She is the boss and is the driving force behind my becoming.
This daughter of dragons is the fiercest and wildest one in the clan, resembling my father’s intensity but without the shame that I’ve spent decades trying to unpack.
While this work is for adults to choose for themselves, she is getting life training that includes many of these components, starting with learning her boundaries and moving into harnessing the ferocity of her feelings into words and actions. It includes not having to be “nice but being “kind” to others and herself.
She challenges me to become a stronger person to rise to meet her and to stay in control versus letting my emotions run too wild and abusively yelling at her.
While she will never choose to submit to me or really anyone else, I realize my greatest impact is in my modeling. Learning the art of harnessing responsible dominant energy came in part from my desire to meet her but has now provided good lessons for the both of us on how to use the power we command.